How To Talk To Your Kids About Lent

Yesterday on Twitter I saw that one of my high school friends (14 yr. old) had written: "I wish I would have given up something for Lent."


I replied, "It's not too late man. You still have 40 of 46 days. DM me if u want any suggestions." (DM=Direct Message on Twitter)


He wrote back and we moved the conversation to facebook.  I've copied and pasted the message below. Hope it could be helpful to you in talking to your child.  -Drew
.............
Mark,


I'm excited about you wanting to do Lent. I didn't ever practice Lent until I was in college, always thought it was just a Catholic thing. But then I realized it's an ancient tradition for all Christians. It's a worthwhile experience I wish I would've started in high school or earlier. 


The reason we call it 'Lent' is because it comes from the English word Lenten (lengthen), referring to the season of the lengthening of the days, the season of Spring. 


At the junior guys bible study the other night we discussed the concept of Lent through the metaphor of athletic training. In order for an athlete to excel, they must prepare. When you watch an Olympian break a record, you know they didn't just walk out there and get lucky. Their performance happened because of years of repetitive behavior.


Lent also involves preparation. Prepping our hearts to grasp:
-the power of the cross over our sin (Good Friday, the day Jesus died on the cross)
-the hope we can have in a God who is more powerful than even death (Easter Sunday)


One way we can prepare is the same way athletes prepare, with repetitive behavior. We can set our mind to do almost anything for 40 days.


Here are a few suggestions I threw out to our Jr. guys group of things to do for Lent, things that prepare our hearts to encounter Jesus in a fresh way. 


A nightly time of written honest confession. 
Do it in a password protected document on your laptop or phone, or in a hidden journal. Three sections of specific confession each night (based on the Book of Common Prayer general confession)


"Thoughts" - God, I confess I had these thoughts today that I know weren't pleasing to you: Lust towards…, anger towards…, etc..


"Words"- God, I confess I spoke words today that I know weren't pleasing to you, words that weren't always honest, words that hurt others… (specific things you said)


"Deeds."-- od, I confess I did things today that I know weren't pleasing to you, specific examples


Giving up a bad habit that will be hard, but doable. 
Some guys in our group are giving up porn, alcohol, masturbation, sex, weed, etc... (things that should be given up anyways, but hopefully Lent will be a catalyst to some better life habits following these 40 days.)


Giving up a comfort that will be hard, but doable. 
Some guys are giving up things that aren't necessarily "bad", but things they consistently run to for pleasure instead of God. Ex: desserts, fast food, soda, Netflix, iPhone games, video games, Twitter, etc..


Taking on a new habit replacing an old one. 
Instead of playing iPhone games or reading Twitter before bed, reading a chapter of the Bible on theYouVersion app on their phone.


I recently read this about Lent that was helpful to me. It was written by some guy named Dr. Chuck DeGroat. "Lent...is an intentional season...where we’re challenged to arrange our lives in such a way as to be daily frustrated. As people addicted to comfort and convenience, we’re often unaware of how we live to feel good about ourselves, to gain a bit of affirmation, to exert influence, to maximize our own pleasure, to satisfy our immediate needs. Lent invites us to intentionally frustrate ourselves, to engage in a season of deprivation, which actually makes us more aware of the depth of our dependence on any number of things – a substance, our reputation, control, achievement, being right, being comfortable, being secure. Depending on things other than God for pleasure and happiness."


Here's another helpful quote is by an author I respect a lot named Dallas Williard: "If you want to keep all of Jesus' commands, don't just try to do it, but become the kind of person who would routinely do what Jesus said."


So how do we become that kind of person?  By practicing spiritual disciplines, like giving something up or taking something on during Lent.


Maybe a good prayer to start with would even be the lyrics from the Foo Fighters song 'Walk'


A million miles away
Your signal in the distance
To whom it may concern
I think I lost my way
Getting good at starting over
Every time that I return


I'm learning to walk again
I believe I've waited long enough
Where do I begin?
I'm learning to talk again
Can't you see I've waited long enough?
Where do I begin?


Mark, Just pray and ask God where you should begin. Say, "God, what do You want me to do for Lent?" He listens and answers and will nudge you in the right direction.


One thing I'd encourage you to do is to not tell anyone (other than me if you want) what you're giving up for Lent. It's a thing that is between you and God and when you make it public, it loses some of that personal and private connection between you and God. Make sense?


Praying for you bro. Thankful for your desire to know God more. Let me know if you have any other questions. Sorry I wrote a book.


Drew

Hairy Demolition!

A Story from Delivering the Flower Vases

This blog was written by Meghan Callahan, who delivered the flower vases to the kids at Brenner's children hospital. So cool to see how God works! 

Rima. The Heart of an Angel.

Posted 3 days ago

What an emotional night. The first night that I’ve cried the whole way back from the hospital. So many emotions from complete happiness to complete devastation and I don’t know how to handle it all. How to handle going into that hospital and seeing my sweet children on bad days. Seeing their families broken, their siblings hurt, and having to be their joy and happiness. It’s not easy. And today was one of those days.

Rima, 10 years old and a patient at Brenner’s Hospital for two years. She has always worked with Arts for Life, as her love for art has grown and her relationships with the staff have deepened. I had met her once and just in that one enncounter, I never forgot her. Her smile was unforgettable and the happiness she had was contagious. She was “popular” on the floor as all the kids looked up to her and she was a celebrity among the nurses. There was just something about her, something different and everyone saw it. She was sunshine on that floor, hope in a dark place. She was wonderful.

Getting that email 4 weeks ago was hard. Seeing her name and the word “stroke” beside it didn’t seem real. How could a 10 year old have a stroke? After battling cancer for years and finally being in remission, now a stroke? Why did this happen? Now being paralyzed, not being able to speak, not being able to eat, she had to spend weeks in the ICU. A once lively, joyful girl was now a baby, not able to do anything herself. At 10 years old, her life was stripped from her.

Going in today, I had no idea that Rima had been moved from ICU to the Oncology Unit until I saw her name on the census. I wanted to visit her but was scared of the sight I was going to see. I decided against it and went into the art room instead. As I was getting my supplies ready, I heard the door open and turned to see Rima’s three siblings at the door. “Hi, um can we do art with you? We don’t want to be in the room anymore.” I smiled and quickly responded “Of course! I would love to do art with all of you!” As we sat there painting wooden toys, we had so many laughs as they talked about their day at school and the funny stories that happened. Joseph, Rima’s 5 year old brother, also showed me how to “properly” dance and even asked me to marry him. “You know Miss Meghan, one day, I might marry you when I get older (wink wink).” It was such a great time and I enjoyed every second I shared with those three. For that hour and a half, they weren’t thinking about their sick sister but were finally getting to share laughs and smiles. It was incredible.

After they were finished, Layla, Rima’s sister, stayed after and helped me clean up. I noticed right away how mature this girl was for being 11 years old. “You are so mature for your age. I would have thought you were older than 11!” She smiled and said “A lot of people tell me that. I guess I have just had to grow up a lot in the past year, having to watch my sister and brother.” She was so polite and sweet and I couldn’t get past how kind she was. “Hey, you know what, one of my friends from school had her middle school bible study paint flower vases for all the children here. I brought them with me today and was going to pass them out but I would love to have extra hands. Do you want to help me?” The biggest smile came across her sweet face and she quickly nodded her head. “Let’s start!” For the next 40 minutes, Layla helped me as we went into every room, delivering the vases. She talked to every child and walked out of every room saying “Wow, they were so sweet. I’m glad we got to see them.” She was so happy and after we finished, she looked at me and said “Miss Meghan, can I tell you something? This was the best part of my day.”

As we walked past Rima’s room, her door was open this time as all of her family was visiting. I saw her room was filled with aunts, uncles, parents and grandparents. There were balloons, banners and left over Valentine’s decorations covering the walls. As I dropped Layla off, she grabbed my hand to pull me into the room. “I want you to meet my mom!” I was scared. I didn’t know what to expect or the sight I was about to see. But I walked in, trying to cover up my fear and smiled as I entered the door. Before I even saw the bed, Rima’s mom immediately got up and raced over to give me a huge hug. “Thank you so much for doing art with my children. They loved it!” She was so warm, so kind and her smile lit up the whole room. Just like Rima, there was something different about her. “Well I’m so glad I got to spend the afternoon with them. They are such sweet children and I’m happy to have gotten them out of the room for a little while. How is she doing today?” She went on to tell me that today had been a good day, that they were praying and trusting God and knew that this was in her plan. “We believe in the power of prayer, that God is bigger than this and that He has her in the palm of His hand. She is His daughter before ours and we are trusting Him with her life. So keep praying.” I was frozen. The faith that she had was pouring out of her onto me. Seeing her strong faith in God, even as her child had quicklly become a vegetable, was mindblowing. She was so strong, so happy, and at peace knowing that God would give her comfort and would be with her every step of the way. I can’t even begin to describe how that conversation blessed and influenced me. As she continued talking about her and Rima’s faith and how the Lord is bigger than this situation, how blessed they really are and how this is just a chapter in her testimony, I couldn’t even speak. I was just soaking it all in. Her deep passion for the Lord shined through her and radiated out like I’ve never seen. After that talk, I knew I wanted to see Rima. I wanted to see her face, see how she was doing even if it was going to hurt. As I stepped around the corner, I saw the face of an angel as she laid there looking straight ahead, not blinking or moving. She was wrapped up in her princess blanket with only her head poking out. She was just as beautiful as I remembered. 

As I walked out of that room, Layla ran after me to tell me bye for the final time. As she gave me a hug, she saw the tears in my eyes as I tried so hard to hold them back. She looked at me and in her quiet, sweet voice said “Miss Meghan, it’s ok. Rima is a strong Christian and she loves the Lord with all of her heart. If she passes, I know that she is going home. She is going to be with Jesus.” Standing in the middle of the hallway, with that strong 11 year old girl by my side, I smiled the biggest smile through my tears and simply said, “yes, yes she will be home with her Daddy who loves her very much.” 

Driving back home in silence, my thoughts circled around what I had experienced. All the emotions I felt as I painted with Rima’s siblings, talked to Rima’s mom, passed out flowers with Layla, and had that sweet moment with her in the hallway. That family left such an impression on me. Their strength, courage and joy were so inspiring. Their love for God and their faith in Him. It was incredible. And even sitting at the table, painting, I asked the kids what was their high of the day and as little 5 year old Joseph raised his head, he said “I know what mine was. Coming to the hospital and getting to pray over Rima with my mom. That’s what I love the most. I know I can’t see God but I know He can hear me always.” 

Flowers for the Kids!

In January, the youth girls of Redeemer and Sojourn got together and painted flower vases for oncology patients!

 They were delivered yesterday and brought lots of joy to the kids that received them. God has an incredible way of timing things just right and many of the flowers brightened a hard day! He is so good! 

Hairy Donation List

We are currently accepting donations for The Hairy. We need:

-couches (in decent condition please)

-TVs

-chairs

-tables

-a large refrigerator

-Bibles

-bookshelves

-hanging rack for skit clothes

-chest of drawers

-video game systems

-sound system

-stereo

-projector

Drew's YouTube of the Week

Seven Ways You Can Make Your Marriage AWESOME!

From Perry Noble  

#1 – Stop Fighting IN IT and Start Fighting For It – as long as you see your spouse as the enemy your home will always be a battlefield, and EVERYONE loses when you fight with each other and not for one another.

#2 – Stop Asking God To Fix Your Spouse And Ask Him To Fix You – no one in any marriage is perfect…and when we stop pointing out all of our spouses perceived inadequacies it really does make us a much better person to be around.  (Psalm 139:23-24 is a GREAT prayer to pray when asking God to show you your very own “opportunities for improvement.”)

#3 – Ask For Help – you are NOT the first married couple that has ever struggled, you WON’T be the last.  The problem is that (especially in church) we are so obsessed with what people may say or think that we will allow our relationships to implode.  We cannot allow our desire for appearance to distort the reality that we need help!

#4 – Ask The Lord To Allow You To See Your Spouse Through His Eyes – this can/will absolutely CHANGE your perspective on who you are married to…because you see them less and less as your spouse and more and more as a son/daughter of the KING!!!  How do you think He wants His child to be treated?

#5 – Choose Right Now That You Are Always Going To Believe The Best About Your Spouse - Love always assumes the best about a person (see I Corinthians 13,) if you are always assuming the worst about the person you are married to then you have a major problem and are placing them in a no win situation.

#6 – Stop Seeing Your Spouse As Your Servant But Rather Your Opportunity To Serve – As long as you see them as your servant you will always be tempted to point out their shortcomings in regards to the ways they are not meeting your perceived needs.  However, if you see them as your opportunity to serve it will completely change the dynamic and temperature of the relationship.

#7 - Do WHATEVER IT TAKES To Get To Our REAL MARRIAGE EVENT (details here!) – trust me, this event is going to be one of THE BEST events our church has ever hosted, Mark & Grace Driscoll are great friends and what they are going to be sharing that weekend has the power and potential to revolutionize your marriage!!!  (As of now over 1,400 people have registered, that means there are less than 700 spots available, this event will sell out so I would recommend getting signed up ASAP!)

(And singles, this is for you as well…the best way to HAVE a great marriage is to actually prepare beforehand!)

Upcoming Events

Feb 8, Wed:  WNL (Wednesday Night Live) 6:30-8pm at The Hairy. "The Hairy" is our new youth meeting space (named after being a former Hair Salon.) It's located  in the back of the small strip mall across from Target on Lawndale, behind the BP gas station. Coming south on Lawndale, turn Left on Independence before you get to Target, and then make a quick Right into the back of the shopping center, its G-2606. Here's a map.  Please send $3-5 each week with your child for pizza/drinks.  After school pickup of the middle school boys is on as usual today from Greensboro Academy, Kernodle, and Caldwell.

Feb 8, Wed: The Tarheels crush DOOK at 9pm.

Feb 12, Sun:  Our 1st Sojourn JAM at Bur-Mil Wildlife Center. 6th-12th graders start in worship with adults and are dismissed after music to walk down the hill to the Wildlife center. We will attempt to bring the kids back to the clubhouse by the end of service at 11:45, but if we are not back by the time you need to leave, feel free to drive your car around and pick up your child from the Wildlife center. No JAM at Redeemer. 

Feb 14, Tues: Starting on Valentine's day Middle School Gals Bible Study on Tuesday nights, 7-8pm. This 4 week series will be led by Redeemer Youth Ministry intern Leeann Mangum and another HPU college student from Redeemer named CJ Blanton.  RSVP to Leeann at mangua09@highpoint.edu. The small group will only meet for 4 weeks on Tuesday nights and be held at the home of Logan and Eloise Porter.  603 Elmwood Dr Greensboro, NC 27408. 

Feb 15, Wed: NO JAM OR AFTER SCHOOL PICKUP NEXT WEDNESDAY Feb 15th. We will periodically not meet on Wednesday nights. This is a strategic decision to keep Wednesday nights fresh, feeling like a special event and a privilege.  We are also preparing to enter the season of Lent and will be meeting for 6 straight weeks on Wednesday nights, so this will be our last Wednesday night off for 2 months. 

Feb 18, Sat: 8am-4pm Work Day at 'The Hairy.'  We will be knocking down drywalls, glass, etc... Please bring gloves and any tools you have. This is open to the whole church. I don't have much expertise in the area of demolition, so I will be looking to many of you for help. Please see the bottom of this email for a list of items we're looking to be donated to The Hairy.

Feb 18, Sat night: Redeemer Parents Night Out: The Redeemer Youth and Youth team will be babysitting at the Grove for Redeemer parents

Feb 19, Sun: JAM at both Redeemer & Sojourn

Feb 21, Tues: Middle School Gals' Bible Study at the Porters. (2nd of 4)

Feb 22, Wed: Beginning on Feb 22, we will meet for 6 Wednesday nights at Bur Mill, instead of The Hairy, during the season of Lent with the church bodies from both Redeemer and Sojourn.  On Feb 22nd we will have an Ash Wednesday service with no meal since this is traditionally a day of fasting. The youth and adults will meet together for this service from 6-7pm

Feb 26, Sun: JAM at Sojourn, not at Redeemer.

Feb 28, Tues: Middle School Gals' Bible Study at the Porters. (3rd of 4)

March 25, Sun: "UNDERSTANDING YOUR TEENAGERS," A seminary for parents of teenagers by Drew Hill. 6-8pm at The Grove. Let me tell you what your kids are telling me. We'll be discussing the following topics: A Parent's Guide To Social Media; Talking With Your Teen about Sex; Destructive Behaviors: Cutting, Drugs, Alcohol; Understanding How To Motivate The Teenage Brain. This will be a timely opportunity for you to invite your friends in the community who are experiencing the mystery of parenting teenagers.

July 9-14 or July 16-21: Potential summer camp dates. We've researched MANY camp options and are currently leaning towards "Snowbird Wilderness Outfitters."

Our survey from last week indicated that less than 5 students would be able to attend camp if it were on either of these dates. Would you please email me this week at YLDrew@gmail.com  and let me know if your child would want to go either of those weeks. The cost would be around $399, but we will do necessary fundraising.